its like being picked last for the game

You sit on the sidelines and wait. You see the good the bad and the ugly and you wait. You inch forwards… sometimes and hope that will make you more easily seen. You quietly say things under your breath like “pick me”… “im better then her”… “come on! Really?” and you wait. You see who gets picked first and second and third and you wait. Knowing that in the end… you will be picked last.
Being a “step” parent sucks. It has its moments of greatness…. But mostly it sucks. I mean, think about it. Really think about it. You have a kid… you have raised them for how long, and someone without kids, who isn’t their parent comes in and gives their own opinion or advice on how to do it. How would you take that? Ok, now picture yourself with someone other then your child’s other parent. How well do you take their two cents when everything else still applies. Now what if that child is the baby.
Being a “step parent” sucks. Because you wait. You wait for the moments that you are let in. To be part of something that you are not from normal day to day routines. It is like being able to see the super exclusive club meetings through a giant window, but no one else can see you. And you wait.
It sucks being a “step parent” because you aren’t their parent, barely their friend.. And golly gee if you have a rule that needs to be followed or disagree with something else… then you’re the enemy. There is no good nights and I love you. There is no thank you for just being there and there is no I am sorry for what I did or that I hurt you or didn’t do what I asked. Even when they are told to say or do it by the actual parent.. Because inside you know… that’s the only reason it was done or said…. Not because they actually meant it.
Being the “step parent” sucks. Because most days, no one else sees you as that person, unless it is legal! Then I think you are kinda seen. They don’t count the hours of alone time, hang out time or homework you sat for hours to help with. They don’t see all the laundry you do for that one child on one weekend or the two different meals you make because you are trying to be the “cool” one who doesn’t force them to eat the meal with the onions that they cant see just because you want them to like you for 5 minutes.
You wait and you wait to be seen, called on and or looked to, to be the greatest. And even when you are picked, it is usually only for the short period of time. And then again… you wait. And when you realize, that you make it odd number… and wont be picked at all….. Being a “step parent” even if new at it, sucks.
And today, is one of those days, that it sucks because instead of being called on or looked to… I took the extra few steps forward and made myself seen, notices and heard……
And though I was agreed with and listened to….. I don’t think that I will be picked for awhile. Because the worst thing about being a “step parent” is when you have to tell the actual parent that you are annoyed, disagree and think it should be done different… and you are added to the list… of one more person… tell you how to raise your child. SUCKS