Sorry in advance, but i love you

Here is the truth, its gonna suck to write it, but here it goes.
I have talked and talked and written about the lack of time I have. I have complained, I have cried, I have tried and tried to make more time (even at the expense of sleep and family) to be that friend. The one who is there, the one who can do it all, the one that everyone needs. And today, today I have had it. I am not mad at my loving and patient friends, nor do I mean this in a mean way. But seriously, OUR LIVES HAVE CHANGED. not just mine…. But yours too. You have families too. Families that need you and take up time. YOUR TIME. Yet, somehow, I am the one that is expected to bend. I understand I do not have children (other then weekends for maybe 48 hours if I am lucky) and that I work too much (and get paid to do it) but why why why why why why why why do I need to come to you?
I have a house, I make dinner, I love love love guests. Seriously ask Adam. We have dinner nights all the time. (when he isn’t playing softball ) I understand that I live out in the woods of Kittery, and that is a drive for you…. But here is the kicker… driving to you all the time is a drive for me. But I should be the one doing it more because I don’t have kids… right?
So here is the thing. I love you. And I want to be in your life and I want you in mine, but you are too busy for me and I am too busy for you. I want to see you, and I really want to have a drink.. Or two with you and talk.. And talk… and talk more since I am so good at it. But, I cant be the friend you need me to be, because you cant be the friend I need you to be. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, or that we will NEVER see each other. It just means that what we are trying to do isn’t helping the situation. I neeeeeed you to meet me half way. (like other people do) we can meet for dinner somewhere close… MORE IN THE MIDDLE. I am not saying that you are too far away to see because you are not. I am just saying, working off your schedule all the time is not working with my schedule.
And lastly, I love you. A lot! You should know this! I shouldn’t have to say it. But I think that you are dramatic, and seriously. How do you not see this. Sometimes I look at you and while I listen, I think, “Holly cow! Why are you doing this to yourself” I know that somehow it just follows you and for that I am sorry to, because I don’t think that you want all the added stress in your life, but I also think you don’t know what to do when things are just peaceful. I love you, but the only drama I need in my life is what happens in my own house hold. And there isn’t (other then lately) a whole lot of that… ever. So here it is.
We need to realize that we are more pen pals then we are BFF’s. I don’t want you to turn into one of those “I never see you” friends. Or a “face book” friend, because you are so much more then that to me. But, I don’t have the availability that you need me to have and you are busy too. So, I love you. And hopefully. Maybe, somehow, this week or next we can see each other.. Maybe.