Dear Best Friend,
I thought about you today. I think about you almost everyday, but today is different. I am not really sure what made me think of you or why I felt that I needed to write this, but I am. Mostly because I think that it is very important when these moments happen to let you know that I am thinking of you and I appreciate you.
I met you what feels like a long time ago. But really, it was only really been about 7 years. Did you know that? 7 years! Happy Anniversary! I know this because a very special time happen for you seven years ago. But we weren’t friends, so I wasn’t there. The crazy part is I know al the details to that day. Because I have always listened to you. Down to the way she looked at him the whole time and how it made everyone cry. I know 99%, well more like 97% of the details to your life. I like hearing all the stories about your life. You inspire me to do great things. I think about these stories sometimes and laugh, because some of them are funny to me. Juice cup! I know you just laughed out loud… its ok… I did too when I typed it.
But the details are not why I thought of you today.
There are moments in my head, memories that are so deeply imprinted that I pray they will never fade. Many of those in the last 7 years have come from you, or somehow you are involved in. Like the day you were upset with me, because I told you! And you said that you weren’t. Something inside me knew, and told me I was right. Little did I know that THAT feeling wasn’t a feeling. It was a bond that had been formed before I even knew it. She knew it, but I didn’t. I can remember the way I hugged you when I was right. I can remember the crazy things we ate. But the image burned in my head was when she heard me for the first time. The lights were low, so that we could see those beautiful eyes. You were happy, for more reason then one. He handed her to me, she was so small and perfect. I didn’t want to give her back. You handed me a diaper and she peed on me instead. Go figure! I remember that like it was yesterday. And I cant thank you enough, for all the times that I started to fall or hit bottom, that you reminded me and she always reminded me, what I meant to her. I miss hearing her threw doors, but I love the voicemails… and when she tells me I cant go.
But she isn’t the reason I thought of you today.
I was so scared to admit I lied to you. You waited for me to tell you and you knew I would. I waited till no one was around, I waited till I was ready for you to let me know how you really felt about him. And then I told you. You didn’t get mad at me, you didn’t tell me “I may not always agree with you, but I will always support you” you said “I know” and then you told me stories. You made me know I wasn’t alone. You made me aware of where the key was and why you wouldn’t ask questions if you found me on the couch the next day. You were just there, the way you have always been there and you have NEVER faltered a day!
But your patients and wisdom is not why I thought of you today.
He looks at you like something I had never seen (until the past year). It is a look that you told me I would find, and many times you let me know that it wasn’t with you I wanted that look to be from. He finishes your sentences and he makes you glow in a way that only he can. You guys made me see what I needed to see. You made me want what you had. You made me look deeper into myself and learn that it takes more then just wanting something to work. It takes work to want something. Something that matters and something that goes beyond a ring or a piece of paper.
But that love isn’t what made me think of you today.
You have always meant more to me then I think you or I even grasp. I NEED you in my life, but more then that I WANT you in my life. Everyday, for every story, for ever good bad and inbetween moment that we have, and will share. Like that time I was going to go out. And drink, and maybe dance, and have a great time without a guy. And I looked hot!! And you called. You were sick, and you were sad and tired. It took me 18 minutes to make it there. I don’t know why I remember that, maybe because you laughed then cried again. But I was. And I helped. Or that time you called and asked me to get her. Someone else needed you! Someone who I have grown to love and enjoy watching grow. And I was there, and then I cleaned…. It was weird… it made me nervous, it meant it was bad and I had to clean. You laughed at me when I told you that.
But our bond isn’t why I thought of you today either!
I thought of you because I wrote something that really made me see you. I have seen you for 7 years and 4 of those years was everyday. I thought of you because you have been the one thing that has never changed in my life. You stayed! You pushed me to be who I am! You stayed and supported and loved, and you didn’t have to. I have had my fair share of moments that you could and should have walked away to teach me. But you didn’t! You stayed. You have seen me hurt and cry and picked me up and dusted me off better then anyone. Because you stayed. You checked on me when you knew, somehow, it was bad. I believe its because at the end of the day, you know me better then anyone and that bond is crazy!
You have given me more then I could ever give back to you or repay you for. You gave me her, you gave me you and a love that I am not sure I knew existed until you came in my life. (for god sake you touched my feet to paint them!) you can laugh there too!
I know that I may not be your best friend, and that’s ok. You taught me that a long time ago when I asked you what I best friend should be. You answered “its not really something that can be put into words, but you may not be your best friends best friend, but they are your best friend for a reason only you know”
Its crazy the wisdom that comes out of your mouth sometimes. But you were right. I know all the reasons why you are, have been, and will continue to be my best friend. Because in my eyes you are my Yaya. You are the one who protects me when I need to be protected, sticks up for me when I am unable or too scared to, pushes me to be better everyday, catch me when I fall, share my secrets, laugh with, cry with, supportive and always able to tell me when I am not making wise choices. And I just wanted you to know.
“I may not always agree with you, but I will always support you and love you”
Again
Thank you
MUAH
ReplyDelete