Yikes, where did that come from

I have written and re-written this so many times that I finally just said I’m done!

There comes a time in everyone’s life, and I am sorry if you have not come to this point yet, where you look around and realize that your not 18, not 21, not able to just be wild and crazy anymore. I’m not saying that you wont have girls night or a birthday and be able to let loose and be carefree. I am saying that you see the real world for what it is and how it works and you start to work with it, not against it. You realize that your boss cant be your best friend and your boss and be objective. You cant be late for important things and blame it on last nights events and you cant keep waiting for what is just around the corner.

I have always worked “too much” for most people. I have been made to feel bad and guilty for my work habits. I don’t use work as an excuse to my life, it’s a reason, it’s the truth. And somehow, the people that understand that see me all the time. They don’t work against my schedule they work with. Some of my friends, yes, I have to request time off just to be able to see or plan way far in advance to be able to get a coffee with. You call it an excuse because you don’t like what I am saying. And guess what, I don’t care. I have reasons for the way I work. No one pays my bills. And I have lots of those!!! I have a car payment that will be paid off in another year. I have school loans that hate me, but I try really hard to pay. I have extras like a cell phone, a dog and insurance. And I have a family. No, I don’t have a ring! No, I am not married. It is still my family. You get into a serious relationship with a child that isn’t yours and please by all means, tell me how it feels when I tell you that child isn’t your responsibility or your problem. Just your significant others. If they don’t live with you full time, remind me to tell you how the time you get with them isn’t something that you need to deal with or be part of. And when it gets in the way of other family events, get togethers and nights out… I will remind you that they aren’t your child so you don’t have to be there. Or even better, when you do leave them behind and make it to those things, tell me how great it feel to see everyone with their families and your alone! But I digress.

Having bills and a dog and a family cost money. Never mind the bills that come with living on your own or with someone. Electric, heat, hot water, cable…ect. It gets expensive. And when it gets to be too much, yes I work two jobs. It is what I do, it is what I have done for years, it is who I am. Get over it. I work like I do because I like the extras and I like the perks of being an auntie. Being able to buy way too much for children that mean something special to me and take them out for lunch and an ice cream and still be able to buy the extra pack of whatever fad is in at the time is what I like to do. I like being the friend, sister-in-law and or sister that tells you to put your card or cash away. I like being the friend that can spend the 200 on drinks and dinner just because.

I have always acted older then I am! And I am fine with that. I love my life. I love the friends that understand me and live similar lives. I love to go out for drinks with friends and have a good time. I also love knowing the they too have to be up at 5am and after two or three drinks we will say our love yous and plan another time down the road to do it again. And on the weekends, I love to get a little more then three drinks in me and let loose for the weekend. And I love that I can do that with him every time! But again, I digress. I get out, I have a social life, and I love the one I have. I love the fact that I have a friend 30 ft from my driveway that I can see once or twice a week. I love that I have friend who will come over for a drink and hang out in my kitchen and just talk. Who have dinner with me. And I have a growing love for the people who enjoy Nick’s company too.

But work, I don’t use it as an excuse. You probably just don’t like hearing it. And why, when I have been the same girl who doesn’t party hard, who doesn’t drink till she passes out, who is always the one driving! Why am I the friend that has the excuses. Maybe you do understand what I am saying when I say it. Maybe, I do make excuses when I do want to just stay home with him and cuddle on the couch or go for a bike ride and enjoy the perfect bike weather. Or maybe, somewhere down the line I got annoyed being pulled in directions that weren’t me. Maybe I don’t want to go and you have made me feel horrible and sick about not be that “good” friend that always drove and always showed up for everything. And maybe since you were the one telling me I changed so much that I figured we were too different to be “best” or “good” friends. Maybe my life is different. Or maybe, it is me finally not feeling obligated to be the person I felt I had to be for some long. Maybe I just don’t really care if I can or cant.

I like the way I live my life, I like shooting guns and ridding 4-wheelers and looking over the edge at an amazing view. I have a few things that I know I want to do, but I save for them and I will do them. And sometimes in the process of saving, a car breaks down, a old bill needs to be paid, or you decided to move and a deposit is needed. Life happens, and when you are paying everything and working as hard as you can that’s it! There are people out there, people who work really hard, and who are losing a battle that they have tried everyday to win. Sometimes you cant change it. Sometimes you cant do anymore and be who you want to be. Could I pay off all my debt if I work two jobs year round at this point in my life, yes! Will I ever have that drink with a friend or an outing with adorable children, no!

So, what brought all this on you may ask? Well, sometimes it just takes one person feeling annoyed or pissed off to get someone else pissed off. You might not like something, you may look at what you don’t like to hear as an excuse to someone being able to be who you are.

But what about when you offend someone that you obviously didn’t mean to offend? I am a firm and always have been a firm believer that people are entitled to their own opinions and can write about whatever they want to write about. They can vent and scream and yell and bitch about what annoys them, pisses them off or they just don’t like. But always be aware that someone else is reading it. Someone else might not agree with you and take it to heart. I have friends that work hard, their husbands and boyfriends work hard and want to know what. They work two jobs each. And they are not winning a losing battle. I know people who don’t see their significant others because they are trying to make ends meat. I know people who work more then me and twice as hard as me and are losing their houses. Now what if one of those people who feel like that cant change it and are dealing with it and still need to vent read that you hate excuses. Hmmmmm. There is a thought for ya! But let me guess they are the acceptation to the rule right. Because you look at them different, expect different thing from them.

People change, and people say they change and they don’t. People say they are one thing when there are really another and people lie and yes even make excuses. But maybe what you are hearing isn’t an excuse, maybe you just don’t like hearing what they are saying because its not the answer you are looking for. Maybe, its their life and they love how they live it and the people they live it with and around. Just saying!