I know it seems silly to explain how much I could miss someone who has only been gone for a few days. But I am going to. I could never imagine what it is like for people close to me who go weeks or months without seeing the person they love, their best friends, their other halves. So, for the ones that read this and shake their heads at how silly this may sound, I know. But this is literally the longest we have gone apart. And well, I don’t like it.
I was in and out of horrible and very unhealthy relationships for a long time. I believed that obeying rules, and taking orders and putting their needs and wants before my own were the keys to an amazing relationship. I was young and very naive. But no matter how much people told me I was wrong and that I needed to see the light, I refused to.
Then came Nick. Out of left field, completely not the type of guy I had ever given a second thought to dating, this amazing and wonderful guy came into my life. I was NOT sure at first at all. I questioned it a hundred times. Questioned myself and what I was looking for. Questioned what I was doing and with a guy that was NOT my type at all. (then Jen reminded me that Ryan was not her type and she married her best friend) so I took a jump.
He is a dork, he makes me mad, he makes me laugh and a few times I have even cried. He drives me crazy and sets me straight when completely off balance. He listens when I need to vent and blocks me out when I am being ridiculous (and doesn’t hold it against me) and loves me with his whole heart. Kisses me like it’s the first time every time, cuddles with me every night until I fall asleep and doesn’t get mad when I punch him for snoring so loud. He likes my family and has learned how to deal with the craziness that is my mother. Thinks my niece is the cutest thing and would let me adopt Reagan June if the chance came along. He is my best friend, and even though we eat, sleep, work, live, and play together…. We aren’t sick of each other.
He is the love of my life for so many reasons that really trying to explain them all would take way too much time. But the biggest reasons for truly appreciating him come from the things that he doesn’t do. He doesn’t make me feel guilty for being me. He doesn’t set rules or tell me I can not hangout with people. I don’t have to lie to him and I don’t have to love the things he loves. I don’t have to put his needs and wants in front of my own, nor do I need to make him happy and comfortable in order to be able to be happy. He doesn’t throw fits when things don’t go his way.
In no way is he perfect, don’t get me wrong. But his flaws are actually more of who he is then what needs to change. I love that I don’t have to pretend anymore. That I do NOT need to convince people that the person I love is wonderful. I may make excuses for his redneck ways, or his clear ability to kill and 12 pack on a work night. But to me, that is a fair trade to the life he has given me. The support and love that he shows me daily. And how when he has made me mad or upset, the way he will follow me around the house hugging me and kissing me and telling me I am the love of his life until I laugh and smile and tell him he drives me crazy.
And as crazy as it may sound, knowing that we eat, sleep, work, live and play together a week is just too long. I miss my other half. And in a few hours, he will be home, and life will be as it should. And this little lady will be able to sleep again, (even with the snoring) cook real meals again because who really does that when they only cook for themselves, and laugh until it hurts again.
I thought in the past that I was happy, but looking back I can see everything I gave up, including myself in the attempt to make it work. And that my friends is the number one reason I love this man. Our relationship isn’t work. It is fun! Getting through the hard times, that’s what we work at, not keeping our relationship going day to day and week to week. I gonna marry that man someday, and as much as I want it to be today or even tomorrow, knowing that I never have to think twice if this is it, makes me realize I can wait….. Maybe :)
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