Welcome to the world of this isn’t your choice but it is going to affect your life. That is where I am right now folks! Embarking on a new journey that I will not be making the final choice on but that will affect my day to day daily routine. Now some of you may say, that what I am saying is not right. But again, it refers right back to the statement that being a step parent sucks. And to top it off even more I am a part time step parent, which is by far, suckier.
So put your self in these hypothetical shoes. You have a child, your child! You are no longer with the child’s other REAL parent. It is joint custody which is really means that one parent deals with all the day to day crap and one gets to be the fun buddy. And somewhere down the road that wonderful child realizes that he or she can play the full-time parent. And as that parent you get to the point that you literally can not take this for one more day. The lack of respect, the fights, the battles, the ups and downs of parenting alone. So you make the call, and tell the other REAL parent that things need to change. That you cant do it anymore.
Now say you are the parent who has not had this child for a amount of time longer then maybe a week at a time in a long time. You feel guilty, you knew this day would happen but you didn’t think yet. Do you really think, that you sit down with you new found love and say “we” are going to be full time parents. Do you think you ask if it is ok? Do you think that you are trying to figure out how to balance your full time job with a full time kid? NO! you do what you feel is best for the child. You are the parent! You do what needs to be done. And if you are really lucky your new found love just jumps on for the ride.
That is where I am. I would NEVER say no because I have thought this should happen a long time ago. And well, it still might not happen. The call we got could have just been a nervous breakdown and they will kiss and make up and move on with the same old same old. But, this might happen. So my day to day routine will change. Remembering homework nightly, lunches, lunch money, food he likes, more water and gatoraide, gallons of milk instead on ½ gallons. Jeans that fit, shorts that aren’t too low but not too high, after school programs if they have them, chores and allowance, rules and battles and … well the list could go on.
All things that will be changing in my life. But really at the end if the day, if it was something I couldn’t handle…. This would be the end. And I have said before, I found the man I am going to marry. No ands, ifs or buts about it. So I am in this wonderful place of “its not my kid but its going to affect the rest of my life” without a paddle or even a life raft.
When you have your own child, you raise them and trail and error just about everything. But, you know them. You know everything about them, their likes, dislikes, changes in likes and dislikes. Everything!!! Even the stuff they think you don’t know you know. But this! This is being thrown to the “your not my mom”, “I don’t have to listen to you”, “I don’t want to eat that because I don’t like it”, “you don’t know what you are talking about” sharks. As well as the “im telling you how to raise your child” battle that will without a doubt happen.
So stay tuned folks… this is going to be a bumpy ride.
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